No coincidences

So I've just gotten back from a cruise with the Barenaked Ladies. I go to Wednesday's acoustic set and take a lot of pictures with my digital camera. Of course, the batteries die out about halfway through, and I didn't bring spares.

Rewind to the night before. I was alone in my cabin, watching the ocean wave past my window. In the darkness, I can see Deb lying on the bed, looking at me. I tell her I miss her, that I wish she was here, having fun with me. I once again make what has become an almost involuntary gesture: I wish for a sign.

I don't believe in astrology. I think Nostradamus was high on something and wrote really bad poetry. But I do believe in signs, and I don't believe in coincidences.

I think God, the universe, karma, whoever or whatever is in charge of things does communicate with us, if we're willing to pay attention. I think these messages sometimes take the form of what we've come to call "coincidences." Like when the radio plays a song you were just thinking about, or a friend calls you just when you needed to hear a friendly voice.

That night in the cabin, I wished again for a sign that Deb was all right, that I would be all right, that things would be ... all right.

When you get into a situation like mine, everyone tells you things will work out. And it's true, things WILL work out. The only problem is they don't FEEL like they're going to work out until they actually DO work out. Before then, anyone who tells you that sounds like an idiot.

Flash forward. I go back to the cabin and hook up my camera to my laptop, hoping to salvage the few photos I was able to take before the batteries died.

The concert photos weren't there. What was there was a picture of Deb and some of our cats, back after I had brought her home from one of several hospital stays.

I vaguely remember taking the photos, but that was 10 months ago, and I had wiped the memory card clean several times since then.

So ... she's all right. I'm going to be all right. Things will be all right.

No coincidences.