What’s up? Not me.
The breathing issue continues. I can’t cross the room without wheezing. I haven’t stepped outside for a few days. I’m all right lying still, but trying to sit up takes an effort.
But I’m still here.
I’m fortunate enough to have a few friends who have been through cancer, and their advice has been helping me through this. Their best advice, however is the hardest for me to follow.
“Listen to your body. It’s telling you to rest.”
That’s fine when me and my body agree. Right now we’re barely on speaking terms.
I’ve always prided myself on my self reliance. Except for my marriage, I have lived alone all my adult life and not regretted it. I’ve never been annoyed by a roommate. If I wanted spaghetti at 2 am, I made it. Watch TV till 6 am? As long as I don’t bug the neighbors, why not?
But now I’m finding myself in a position where I have to ask for and accept help. And I loathe it.
And it’s my body’s fault.
My mind wants to take charge, to get up and rehab my knee. Go to the kitchen and eat, even if it is healthy food. Take a hot shower.
Be me, in other words.
My body is telling me, “Just try it, and I’ll cut off your air supply.”
Stupid body.
The breathing issue continues. I can’t cross the room without wheezing. I haven’t stepped outside for a few days. I’m all right lying still, but trying to sit up takes an effort.
But I’m still here.
I’m fortunate enough to have a few friends who have been through cancer, and their advice has been helping me through this. Their best advice, however is the hardest for me to follow.
“Listen to your body. It’s telling you to rest.”
That’s fine when me and my body agree. Right now we’re barely on speaking terms.
I’ve always prided myself on my self reliance. Except for my marriage, I have lived alone all my adult life and not regretted it. I’ve never been annoyed by a roommate. If I wanted spaghetti at 2 am, I made it. Watch TV till 6 am? As long as I don’t bug the neighbors, why not?
But now I’m finding myself in a position where I have to ask for and accept help. And I loathe it.
And it’s my body’s fault.
My mind wants to take charge, to get up and rehab my knee. Go to the kitchen and eat, even if it is healthy food. Take a hot shower.
Be me, in other words.
My body is telling me, “Just try it, and I’ll cut off your air supply.”
Stupid body.
2 comments:
You are such a talented writer! I can relate to what you're going through, on a different/lesser level. I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day for you...❤��
Listening to the body is a part of healing, because how far are you going to get without it?
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