Things I learned from Deb

Aside from teaching me what true love was like, she passed along some helpful hints and little-known bits I hereby pass along:

1. Looking for a good place to eat? Look for the cop cars.
Well, not with the lights flashing. She meant police officers know where to get a good meal and good service, because when they're on patrol they don't have a lot of time to stop and eat. When you find a place they frequent, it's a good sign the food is good enough to bring them back and the service is fast enough to get them on their way.

2. The human brain is gray and can pop out of the head.
She was a police reporter in Miami, and she sometimes would describe the scene after a guy jumped off a building. The brain, which was a few yards away from the rest of the body, was the part of the story that stayed with her.

3. When a horse has his ears back, he's unhappy.
She knew her way around a horse, and knew this was a tipoff of an unhappy creature. Watching old Westerns, I can see there were a lot of unhappy horses in Hollywood.

4. Pink Floyd can control the weather.
She went to see them in the 90s in Miami, and it started to rain, and it let up just as they were finishing "Dark Side of the Moon." Right on cue. Better than a light show.

5. Katie Couric is evil.
In 1999, Deb went to Columbine to cover the massacre. It was first thing in the morning, cold as hell, and she hadn't had her coffee. She went over to the NBC crew to ask for a cup. Couric was there and acting like a prima donna. I don't know if Couric personally refused to give her a cup or if Deb just witnessed her being a witch, but after that Deb detested the woman. And if you diss my lady, you've made an enemy in me. So Katie is evil.

Movie time

In no particular order, some of Deb's favorite movies:

"True Grit" -- She was raised with horses and she loved Westerns, and she agreed with me that John Wayne was underrated as an actor.

"Benny & Joon" -- Johnny Depp.

"Chocolat" -- Johnny Depp.

"Pirates of the Carribean" -- Orlando ... nah, just kidding. You know who.

"Lady and the Tramp" -- She loved Disney movies, including "Sleeping Beauty," "Bambi" and "Cinderella," but she especially loved this one because of the Siamese cats.

"Dracula" -- The original Bela Lugosi one.

North By Northwest, Rope and Rear Window -- She loved Hitchcock.

But her all-time, beyond-any-doubt favorite movies?

First, The Wizard of Oz. I think she really wanted to be Judy Garland when she grew up.

But most of all, "Breakfast at Tiffany's." When we took a trip to L.A., she insisted we go to Rodeo Drive, and when we found out there was a cafe in front of the Tiffany's there, she further insisted we eat there. We had $15 salads, so she could say she had brunch at Tiffany's.

What's to explain? The heroine is an independent, free-spirited romantic with a cat. That's my Deb. If they made a movie about her life, it's just too bad Audrey Hepburn isn't around to be in it.

The Dream

In my support group, the others all talked about The Dream.

Most of them had dreamt that their loved one had come back in a dream so vivid, they were sure it wasn't a dream. They knew it was more than a dream ... it was a visit.

I listened to these stories and wished I could have The Dream.

This morning, I did.

There she was, as real as the keyboard I'm typing on. I took her hand to kiss it, but instead she pressed it to her lips first, then I kissed her hand.

Then I just gazed at her face for a while. It took me a moment to realize it was the same, but different. She wasn't the cancer-worn woman she was when we parted, but she was young again, without a wrinkle, without a care.

I reached up and caressed her cheek, and I ran my thumb along her chin. She smiled.

I told her I'd like nothing more in the world than to hold her again, and we hugged.

That's when my brain started kicking in. I started telling myself this was a dream. It felt real, but it was a dream. Maybe it was time for her to go.

I woke up smiling.

Six months later ...

Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl. They found each other and fell in love. Then the girl got sick, and she died. The boy was very sad.

I'm still working on the ending.